what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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