The best revenge is premature balding
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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