he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
