The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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