You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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