U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
