Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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