Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
