I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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