I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
