I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
