Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
