she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
