as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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