My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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