She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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