Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
