It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
