i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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