My nipple is on Facebook.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
no you cant smoke seaweed
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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