Ambien. No doubt about it.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
