Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i will never coherently bang her
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Hippo gnu deer
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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