Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
