He told me they were just razor bumps!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
