Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her

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(516): View more from New York

And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.

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(585): View more from New York

he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?

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(505): View more from New Mexico

There is a pube in my fucking eyeball

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(773): View more from Illinois

I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days

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(970): View more from Colorado

Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me

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(804): View more from Virginia

the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.

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(276): View more from Virginia

How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,

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