Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
home. puking in laundry basket.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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