Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
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