I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
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