You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
home. puking in laundry basket.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
