don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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