There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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