the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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