let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
