How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize