I puked a lego.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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