This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
