"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
