At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
