I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize