ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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