So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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