Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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