We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I want her autograph on my taint
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
