I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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