there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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