Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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