I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
