so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I need moral support for this bender
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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