God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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