redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
