I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
