I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
