So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
