Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
