My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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