i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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