Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
