Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
