he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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