Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
