I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
