are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
