Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
